Unlearning Insights

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Here are the most current Unlearning Insights:

September 20


Holding on to memories,
and either
wishing you could
recreate an experience,
or make it disappear,
has you dwelling
away from this Moment
as it is unfolding for you
in all its magnificence.


Can you make the shift
to the glorious stillness,
presence, and awakeness
of the only place
you can experience Grace?

September 19

The Holding

To be tenderly held,
in deep safety,
is that for which
each heart yearns.


We want to be able to trust
that all really is well,
and that it is not all up to us
to make it or keep it well.


We want to be able to fall
and know we will be caught
in a feather bed of acceptance.


We want to know
we are worthy,
no matter what happens.


We want to able to rest
in the awareness
we are not alone
working on our behalf.


We want to know
that someone has our back,
and our heart.


We want to not always be
the only initiator of intimacy.


We want to be
deeply listened to,
with zero agenda.


We want the peace
of being led
safely home.


When you deeply hold and cherish
these intentions and values
in your relationships
you are holding the space for others
that helps them transcend fear
and feel secure enough
to be their precious authentic Self.


What matters most is,
the holding.

September 18

An Invitation

You were not randomly chosen
or forced in any way
to show up on the planet
in this form.
It was not an accident,
nor what it good or bad luck, or chance.


It was an invitation from Grace.
And guess what?
You said, “I’m in!”


You came here to learn
as much as you were ready to
about your true identity.


So as hard as life is,
it is designed as a classroom.
You are here,
always being guided by Love
to bless and be blessed
as you let go of that which you are not,
and wholeheartedly accept and embrace
that which you are!


September 17

Hearing The Voice of Grace

In order to better hear the voice of Grace
and feel and yield to Her guiding presence,
it is paradoxically vital
that you identify and recognize
the source of the voices
and feelings to which you do heed.


You are always being guided by something.
There is a Higher Order
and a lower order.
Neutral is not an option.


The lower order is often hidden
and needs to be made conscious
so you can see the tragic effect it is having
on you and the lives of others.
It involves following
your conditioned mind or ego.


The subtle part is that one of the guises it uses
is that it feels like it has been there for so long
that you default to it,
and unconsciously think it is you.
You use words like,
“I am a people pleaser,”
or “I avoid conflict like the plague.”


Try to shift your self-talk to:
“A part of me is a people pleaser,”
or “A part of me avoids conflict like the plague.”
This conscious shift
helps you begin to become unstuck
because you are accepting that
you and your entire being is not stuck,
just a small (but over-used) part of consciousness.


You may be amazed at the difference this makes.

September 16

Seeing and Holding in Love

In the same way
that the sky
softly holds the clouds
without trying
to control their activity,
may we hold a space
for each other.


You do this
by letting your awareness
rest on them
without the tiniest thought
that they
should be different
in any way.
You simply bless them
on their path.


You have no interest
in trying to influence
or control them
or silently wishing
they would be better.


The secret to doing this naturally
is to see yourself in this way.
This will clean your lens
for seeing and holding them
in the same light of Love.

September 15

Intimate Dancing

Trained dancers can lead
or follow their partners
in pure grace,
while never losing their centers.


They express an intimacy
because they know who they are
on their own.


The beauty is in their ability
to give themselves
completely to their partner,
while staying within
their own dignified circumference.  


Before you can be in relationship in a way
that accesses the mutual flow of love
where you both interact from your centers,
you need to connect with your Self
by discovering and communicating from:
your honest, authentic heart,
your quiet mind, and
your grounding in Presence.


If one or more of these three is missing,
you will be out of balance
and either lean on the other to fulfill you,
or doubt your ability
to be in an intimate dance.

September 14

Staying Conscious

When we hit stress, or anxiety,
or challenging negative feelings,
there is a tendency to go unconscious
by either repressing them,
getting overwhelmed,
or numbing yourself to them.
All this does is sustain the suffering.


Anything that takes you away
from being fully present
in the ever-unfolding Moment,
is a distraction.


So what if opening to,
and staying conscious with,
whatever is here,
is what allows you transcend it?


Why not try it,
since the only access to the Divine
is through the portal of Now?

September 13

The Antidote to Self-condemnation and Shame

All you can do is be your best.
All you ever have done, is your best
for that time and space.
If you knew how to be better
and could have accessed it,
you would have.


Even when you are struggling,
that is your best for that moment.


Self-condemnation and shame,
though very common,
have no foundation in truth.
They are based on drawing false conclusions
about your Self
from your experience.


In baseball they would turn
“I struck out” into
“I am a loser.”


In school they would turn
“I failed a test” into
“I am a bad student.”


In relationships they would turn
“I can’t sustain a romantic relationship” into
“I am unlovable.”


They take a learning opportunity
and turn it into
“I am worthless.”


Life’s happenings
tell you about your experience
and can show you areas for improvement,
but they can never define
your worth or potential.


no matter what you do,
or what happens to you,
you have worth because
as the unbroken flow of your Source,
you have unique potential
to make a difference.

September 12


Your soul is your unbroken connection
to your eternal Source,
to which it listens
and receives continual guidance.


Your conditioned mind
believes it is the source,
so it feels responsible
for figuring things out
and trying to control its outcomes.


There is a simplicity to opening,
and allowing this universal Moment
to reveal whatever you need to know,
when you need to know it.


See if you can open to your soul first,
or when you notice
you are over-thinking and worrying,
shift to your soul connection.


The more you walk this soul path,
the fewer detours you will take
by believing your thoughts.


September 11


What if whenever we felt confused
or lost or worried or stressed,
instead of trying
to figure our way out of the maze,
we let ourselves
become deeply quiet and still?


We left the relentless rat race in our mind,
and just watched in stillness.
We watched our thoughts and feelings
and whatever comes up.


We didn’t think about the contentof our mind.
We didn’t react to it.
We just became aware of it.


See how different it feels
to dwell in awareness,
than to be lost
in the drama of our stories.


Which one will allow you
to have more immediate
and sustained access
to revelation from your Soul?

September 10

The Power of Vulnerability

is exposing
your struggles and fears
to people
without knowing
how they will respond.


In the right setting
this is a tremendous act
of courage, honesty, and love.


Since everyone struggles
in common ways
that most people keep hidden,
when you open up in this way,
people can relate to it
and it draws them closer to you.


It helps them realize
that they are not alone
in their suffering,
and gives them a sense of hope.


Please do not underestimate
the power of this healing gift.

September 9

Relentless Intoxication

There is that moment
when something New takes over
that is not your mind,
not your habits,
not your muscle memory,
not your conditioning,
not your emotional reactions,
not your analysis and synthesis,
nor your trained intellect.

It transcends your logic and skills
and taps you into
an ordered Flow
where you find yourself
writing and speaking and acting
in such a divinely creative way
that it could only be described
as Grace.


Expressing wisdom
gentles forth
where sharing knowledge
used to suffice.


This starts to appear
in any activity,
in any relationship.


Once you have tasted this sacred wine,
relentless intoxication
becomes your only desire.

September 8

Grounded Listening

There is way to listen to others
such that no matter what
they are speaking about,
you can see the content
as value neutral for yourself.


Perhaps they are sharing
what they are struggling with.
It is not about what is coming up for you,
even if you are part of their struggle.


The opportunity is to be so grounded
in your authentic Self
that when they share
you are not tempted
to explain, or justify, or defend.
You focus on catching what they are throwing
in a safe net of compassion and understanding.


You get to see them as whole,
and to hold the space for them
while they unburden their heart.

You can do this because you love.
And, you are extending this love to them
because you want them to experience
the detached freedom and peace
of their higher Self.


The gift of grounded listening
is a deep blessing.
And, it is not easy.
When it is hard
it shows you areas where you are not yet clean.
That too is a gift,
but for you.


September 7

Selfless Listening

You are not here
to convince people
of your perspective.


You are here
to help them find
a perspective
that feels like home
to them.


This involves
selfless listening
where they get to recognize
what’s in their authentic heart
as opposed to
being distracted by
the voices in their head.

September 6

To Break From Your Conditioning

Be willing
to question
you think you know
that is true.


Be willing
to let go
of what and who
you think you are.


Be willing
to watch your thoughts
without believing them
for once.


Be willing
to go into and through
your feelings
and come out
on the other side.


Be willing
to yield your will
to Grace.


Be willing
to fail
and get up
again and again.


Be willing
to celebrate
not knowing.


Be willing
to live fully
in each Moment.  


Be willing
to love
without conditions.


Be willing
to trust
that the Universe
has your back.


Be willing
to add
to this list.

September 5

there is a space

big enough
to hold us all


it is experienced in
a borderless heart
a curious mind
a humble spirit
an authentic touch

it is never


it is a field of Grace
forever sending
an invitation
to transcend

September 4

Grace Space

What if for 24 hours you had a single focus
of emptying yourself
to make room for Grace to appear?


If this was your YES,
what would you do?


Are there any parts of your
that could use some clearing out?


anxiousness, resentments,
impatience, frustrations,
judgments, insecurities?


If you were to clear out
some of the repressed memories and beliefs
in your basement,
what kind of bold and inspired action
can you envision taking
in your relationships,
or other important life arenas?

September 3

Different or the Same?

For what do you hunger and thirst?
Is Is it different from her?


For what do you cry in your aloneness?
Is it different from him?


What is your deepest prayer
for those close to you?
Is it different from anyone’s?


Of what are you most ashamed?
Is it essentially different from us?


We are made of the same Substance,
designed from the same Blueprint.


We are being grown in the same Field.
Mother Nature is nurturing us all
as we forever adopt Her new forms.


Redemption is a shared path.
Shall we not hold hands and hearts?

September 2

Learning Together

Life in this plane is about
unlearning and Self-discovery:
finding your authentic Self
and integrating it
into the here and now,
amidst all the misconceptions of self
that are projected on you from
your conditioning, society,
and well-intentioned others.


When this becomes a priority
and you have tasted
how hard life is,
and let yourself really feel
the disappointments, sadness, and frustration,
you will never again look upon
another’s struggles
with the same eyes.


You will adopt a gentle gaze
which says:
“You are my sister and brother,
and teammate, and classmate.
We are in this sacred school of Grace,
all learning together.”

September 1

Freedom and Healing

When something bothers us,
the tendency is to blame
someone or something
outside of us for causing our stress.


What is actually going on
is the stimulus has triggered
something within our conditioned mind
to which we are attached.


This is actually great news
if we want to move through it,
because we can’t control
that which is outside of us,
but we can control our response
to anything or anyone.


I’m not saying this is easy,
but being vulnerable enough
to own our emotional responses
feels like a huge step
in the direction of freedom and healing.

August 31

Homeward Bound

When the Divine-Feminine
replaces the analytical mind
as your first-responder,
you meet people
and situations
and news
with a softness of inclusion.


You don’t see an “other.”
You feel an Us.

That which might be
objectionable to the mind,
is met and embraced with compassion,
such that you lose the desire and need
to figure out why someone
did what they did.


People are drawn to you
because you can only see
Grace in them,
because that is all
that is there.


You have a single priority:
To celebrate our unique and mutual
journey home.

August 30

The Clarion Call to Clarity

If I need you to be different
in order for me to love you,
I am confused.


If you need me to be different
in order for you to love me,
you are confused.


We don’t need
more confusion
on the planet.


Grace is sounding
a clarion call
to clarity.


It is not an option
to remain
in denial or ignorance.

August 29

What I Can and Can’t know

I can’t know
what will happen
in the next moment.


I can know
that it will be for me.


I can’t know
how I will be cared for.


I can know
that Life cares for Her creation.


I can’t know
why people do what they do.


I can know
that we are doing our best.


I can’t know
when I will awaken
to my wholeness.


I can know
that it is inevitable.


I can’t know
how to make Grace appear.


I can know
that opening my heart and mind to Her
is enough.



August 28

I Am Free

I am free
when I am no longer
dependent upon
someone or something
outside of me
to fulfill me.


I am free
when I let myself be me
without needing to impose myself
or my values on anyone.


I am free
when I love you
no matter how you show up.


I am free
when I let go
of needing outcomes
to be what I want.


I am free
when I dare
to live wholeheartedly.


August 27

Freeing Myself to Love

I can never fully understand you.
I can never know
why you did what you did.


I can form a judgment
that you shouldn’t have acted
in some fashion.
But, what would be the point of that?


How is that a contribution
to you or me?
Guaranteed all that will add
is confusion and stress to my life.


How does that help me love you?
Is that coming from my authentic heart,
or my conditioned mind?


When I consciously choose
to release a position
that blocks my ability to see
your wholeness,
I am free
to love you without conditions.

August 26

Pause and Release

Pause and release yourself
into this universal Moment.


Relax and breathe into simply Being,
into that which is unfolding Itself
as your and all Life.


Sense how you are whole right now.
Glimpse that throughout eternity
your completeness doesn’t fluctuate.

Notice how in Stillness,
nothing needs to change.


Watch how Life displays Itself as you,
and through your awareness,
sees Itself.  


Feel the presence and immensity
of this Moment, as your own.



Acadia Vision Quest
July 21—28
Mount Desert Island, Maine
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Would you like to receive an original, inspiring insight in your email each day? For over eight years we have been writing and posting these insights on Facebook, and now you can receive the same insight directly in your email. This is a free service.

To sign up click this link. You may unsubscribe at any point. www.unlearninginsights.com