Unlearning Insights

Would you like to receive an original, inspiring insight in your email each day? For over eight years Sandy Wilder has been writing and posting these insights on Facebook, and now you can receive the same insight directly in your email. This is a free service.

To sign up click this link. You may unsubscribe at any point.

Here are the most current Unlearning Insights

November 13

The Spark of Grace

Are you flammable to Grace?


Can Grace find something
humble enough inside you
that is exposed 
to the air of vulnerability
and can be ignited?


Is your heart yearning to be kindled
or detonated by any of the following?


Do you want to make a difference
in the life of someone
or the lives of many,
that transcends your current abilities?


Do you want to learn to love
such that you inspires others
to love themselves
and their infinite, innate potential?


Do you want to fulfill the
purpose for which you have incarnated?


Do you want to reduce
the suffering for yourself and/or another?


Are you willing to make room
each day
to cultivate a relationship
with that Grace which
creates, unites, sustains
and illuminates us all?

November 12

Be in the Question

It may be more important
to live in really essential questions,
than to live with your answers.



Answers can make you feel
like you have arrived,
and thus you rest on your laurels.


Good questions keep you
on your growing edge.


This is especially true
if spirituality is alive in you,
since we have infinite layers
we can unmask and explore.


Here’s a question to get you going:
What am I?
See if you can be in the question
instead of quoting an answer.


November 11

Deep Listening

Could it be
that deep listening
is what reconnects each of us
with each other, ourselves, nature,
and the Divine?


Could it be
that deep listening
is more than a skill,
but rather a way of being
with another, yourself, nature,
and the Divine?


Could it be
that the primary virtues
that allows deep listening
are humility and unselfed love?


Could it be
that this is why
deep listening
is so rare?


Are you willing
to genuinely cultivate
deep listening daily?


It will transform your life.


November 10

Acceptance is Love

Could it be that
complete acceptance of what is,
is love?


Through acceptance
we are fully present
with what is happening here and now.


Through acceptance we are not:
upset with the past,
worried about the future,
judging someone,
dreaming or fantasizing,
needing someone or something,
having an agenda,
endlessly seeking…

Through acceptance
we are letting our awareness
rest in the moment
without needing it to be different.


Through acceptance
we have a simple, still mind.


Through acceptance
we are looking and listening
and receiving
whatever we are given.


See if you can practice acceptance,
and notice how loved
and those you accept, feel.


November 9

Where is Love’s Plan?

Have you ever felt deep pain and sadness
because life is not going your way?

It’s like in your honest struggle,
somehow you missed
a reservation on the Grace plane?


Contrast that with how you feel
when you are riding the wave of Love’s plan!


You are so excited to be participating
in the best possible design!


You feel grateful that although you never know
what will unfold,
it is filled with the maximum learning and blessings!

If you are struggling with the first feelings,
the only difference right now,
is that there is a part of your mind saying
that Love’s plan can’t possibly be as good
as what you had planned.  


But, because this is what is happening,
you can see this as Love’s plan.


See if you can realize and accept
that Love’s plan is not random and sporadic.
It operates everywhere in every dimension.
It is impossible to be outside it,
because there is nothing but it.


That means you can rejoice!
Even now.
The blessings will be better
than you could ever imagine,
even though the ego
can’t see how right now.

Take the leap into Love’s Plan.
You won’t miss it
because you are already enrolled.

November 8

Intentional Living 

Open to your deepest intention
in your heart and soul
for what you really want in life.

Give yourself permission
to untether your intention
to soar within the infinite possibilities
of the ordered Cosmos.


Embrace your intention
with Love
before and while taking any action,
no matter how small.


Treasure your intention
in sacred stillness
in your authentic heart
whenever it comes to awareness.


Let your intention
be re-formed and fulfilled by Grace.
It is dynamic, organic, alive…


Allow your intention
to publish itself
in and as your life.


This is your Revolution.
Dedicate everything to it.

November 7

When you are feeling stressed

if you can see
that what you are up against
is a constricted program
running in your mind,
you have taken the vital first step.


The next step is to see
that you are not the program
or the feelings coming up because of it.

You are the one noticing the program
and the one that was just fine, thank you,
before the stressful program started running.

November 6

What do I mean by love?

In each moment
I see, accept, feel, and express
awe, appreciation,
unconditional respect for,
and honoring of,
the celestial prophet within:
the essence, wholeness
and multi-dimensional manifestation
of the living, dynamic individual,
at one with all Being. 


It has nothing to do with the past.
It is not pinned to predictable expectations.
It is not dependent upon that which gives me pleasure.
There is no craving to possess or control.
It is not hooked to another’s behavior.

It is freely given, without exception. 


Perhaps you may want to ask yourself:
What do I mean by love?






November 5

Just Love

In those extraordinary moments
when there is
just love,
there is
no self.

No I want, to interfere.
No mind to separate.
No thought that divides.
No filter to block.

Just love.

No defending.
No judging.
No justifying.
No efforting.
No planning.
No regretting.
No worrying.
No striving.

Just love.

No I need.
No I’m right.
No I’m wrong.
No positions.
No being special.
No feeling that possesses.
No envy.
No I’m afraid.

Just love.

No mine.
No yours.
No ours.
No theirs.
No groups.

Just love.

No I… to become.
No I… to be.
No I… anything.
No I that ages.
No I that dies.
No I that lives.

Just love.


No anyone.
No self,
here or there.


November 4

She Has Us

Grace is unfolding Her order
better than you could possibly imagine,
even if you had a million years
to try to figure it out.


It includes a level
of Presence and awakening
and intimacy and authenticity
and peace and fulfillment and joy
that you have never known.
It includes the perfect birth and rebirth
of sunrises of the heart forever….


This is the way it is.
Every detail in Her womb,
every puzzle peace,
is being perfectly formed
and placed by Her.


You need not fear.
She wants for you
want you want,
times infinity….

November 3

Craving for Completion

what you think will complete you.

Is it an object,
a vacation,
a person,
a circumstance?


Do you crave that which will complete you?
I do.


All of those things are outside of you.
At one time or another,
you have likely gotten your heart’ desire,
only to find:
the object gets old,
the vacation ends,
the person changes,
the circumstance evolves.


It is not getting what you want
that fulfills you.
It is the absence of craving.

In that space, equanimity returns
and you see and feel yourself
as the flow of Love.




November 2

Where Shall We Meet?

If there is ultimately no time,
because it is just a mental configuration
we create to put order to our projected world,
can we meet yesterday?


I’m booked today,
and tomorrow is filling fast.
But, yesterday is wide open.


Or is it?

Am I holding on to yesterday
trying desperately
to forget it,
or correct it,
or relive it,
or replicate it?

if I let yesterday be,
without pledging allegiance to it,
today will be the opportunity
to fully witness
the magnificence of this Moment of Light.


As we let each yesterday
be wide open,
we will meet each other
to dance with divine improvisation.



November 1


We are here
to be ourselves,
while being in an intimate relationship
with everyone
and everything.


We each carry
a hidden gem of radiance
deep within us.


Can I give you
a safe enough space
for you to be vulnerable
as you play with your brilliance?


Can I give myself
a safe enough space
to be vulnerable
as I play with my brilliance?


Can I give you
a big enough space
for you to let your life force stallion?


Can I give myself
a big enough space
to let my life force stallion?


Can I give you
a tender enough space
for you to nestle down and rest?


Can I give myself
a tender enough space
to nestle down and rest?

Intimacy requires
as much loving me,
as it does loving you.



October 31

How Do You Treat Your Body?

Please be kind to your body.
If we treated a close friend
the way most of us treat our body,
they may not want to hang out with us very long.


Notice how you think about your body:
it is never quite right,
too much of that,
too little of that.

Notice how you compare it
with everyone else’s body:
better than that one,
worse than that one,
if I only had that one!…


Notice how you forget
or are too busy to nurture it,
giving it healthy food,
appropriate exercise,
adequate rest,
deep, relaxed stillness and prayer.


And in spite of all that mal-treatment
it is always there for you.


When was the last time
you told it how much you loved it
and how grateful you are
for all it has given you?


It is your vehicle this time around,
and it will respond well
to the meaningful care and loving attention
you would give your best friend.





October 30

Owning the Broken You

Until you own the broken you,
you are not ready to leave it
for the unbroken you.




Because it is vital to see
that what you have accepted
consciously or unconsciously
is driving your behavior.


Through no fault of your own
(it is the curriculum
you are handed when you incarnate),
you are given the opportunity
to unlearn and release
that which masquerades
as your identity.


Once a sacred space is created
in the form of
“What am I, if I’m not what I thought I was?”
then the unbroken you
is ready to ripen
in all its glory!







October 29

A Reserved Seat

We each have
a deep compulsion to be free.


This sacred yearning
has been planted in your soul.

Your soul has this amazing capacity
to keep you aligned
with That from whence you came,
and steer you through
whatever presents itself
as obstacles to your return.


Your role is to pause,
be still,
and let yourself
be ushered home.
You have a reserved seat.





October 28

Needing Them to Love You

When you decide that you need someone
to love you differently than they are,
you devote your attention
to a made up future.


You create a scenario
where you are without love,
once again: total misery.

Many of us have done this for so long
that we default
into anticipating the future.
Away from now,
is when, or then.
Both have no business governing us.


Instead, devote to locating these stories
and realize they are fabrications
that keep you from
experiencing the love you are.


Then sink into
accepting and cherishing
what you discover you are
when your stories lose their grip.






October 27

Prophets? Yes!

See if you can see
that within her
is a prophet,
living as fully as she is able
in this dawning Moment.


It doesn’t matter
if she is struggling or soaring,
she is working out
her prophethood on the planet,
and you get to witness it.


Whether she accepts this or not
is irrelevant.
She will feel the gift
of being seen
through the eyes of Grace.







October 26

Flawless Creation

When I see flaws in you,
they are flaws in my seeing,
not in the you.


You are showing up
just as you are supposed to
for this moment
in the unfoldment of eternity.


If I can’t accept that,
then I am arguing with Reality
as It is appearing.


This is not a winning proposition on my part.


There is nothing you could tell me
that you have thought, felt, said, or done
that could make me accept
that you are flawed.


When I am able
to live from this standpoint,
it is a game-changer.






October 25

Everything is For You

What if you believed
that there are no exceptions to this?


Try picking something
that you don’t believe is for you,
and see if you can open to Grace,
and ask how it is for you.


Stay with it, until you see it.


If you do this with anything that your mind
tells you is not for you,
you will realize how often
your mind makes confusing snap judgments,
based on partial evidence.


By noticing what happens,
and remembering
that everything is designed to be a blessing,
there will be much more peace in your life.





October 24

If I think I know what is best for you:

  • It does not mean I should tell you
  • I can hold my opinion lightly
  • It most likely means I am in your business
  • It is irrelevant what I think
  • I could ask you what you think is best for you
  • I can love you, no matter what you do







October 23

Gunpowder Within

When I blame you
for what I am feeling,
I am seriously confused.


It is convenient to do this
because then I can fool myself
into thinking the issues are yours
and not mine.


All your actions do
is trigger what is festering in me,
waiting to explode.


If I carry gunpowder in me
only a match within me
ignites it.







October 22

Emptying Myself

These days
I am leery of only being devoted
to a cadre of spiritual practices
that only add new inspiring ideas.


I’m seeing the need more than ever
to empty myself
by being willing to do the dirty work
that can be really hard and painful.


Avoiding hard and painful
is no way to live.
It’s more a way
to extend your suffering indefinitely.








October 21

Feeling Trapped?

Fear can make you feel trapped
by confusing you into believing that
you don’t know how to disentangle yourself.


Two results are that you
either spiritually bypass the fear
by denying or repressing it,
or you numb yourself to it
by engaging in something (anything)
that is consuming enough
that you forget the fear
for the time being.


I have a Master’s degree
in both of these.
So not pretty.


Today, I am unlearning
these entrenched behaviors
by breathing into the fears,
feeling them in my body,
and finding out what beliefs
are holding them in place.


It’s time to clean out the basement.







October 20

When I am afraid,

my fear is because I believe
the Divine Order is not happening.


That is like being afraid that
Nature is not in operation.


The only thing
actually happening everywhere
is the Divine Order.


Clearly, I am lost in a nightmare.
The only option is to wake up!





October 19

Until I can love

by accepting as neutral,
everything anyone says or does,
I will be not be free.


I will be captive to my mind,
projecting my mostly unconscious beliefs everywhere,
and shackled to repeating the past.








October 18

What do you want most in life?

This question can reveal
your deepest intention
which can be applied
in every situation and relationship
in every waking moment.


Here are some responses
to help you get started
in listening forward your response:


To wholeheartedly express and feel
the presence of Love. 


To find the rhythm and freedom
of living Love authentically
in the unfolding Moment.

To live and love so honestly
that I don’t need to manipulate
anything or anyone
in order to get my way.


To let the intimacy
of the oneness of Love
be expressed through and as me.




October 17

Seeking Clarity?

For water to become clear and transparent
it needs to be still
and free from turbulence
so that the sediment floating within it
can settle to the bottom.


Are you seeking greater clarity
in specific areas in your life?


While most of us stay on the surface,
rarely diving into undiscovered areas, 
the mind can be a gateway to exploring
deeper levels of the unknown.

Some of these deeper levels
can potentially tap you into
innate divine capacities
that you never knew you had.


Other levels will reveal
hidden beliefs that you have unconsciously
repressed and buried,
yet are driving your behaviors.


To access these levels
requires courageous and humble stillness
so that new views are revealed.


How can you still your mind
long enough that it becomes
clear and transparent?

If this was a daily priority for you
what would you do?


October 16

Releasing Anguish

If I am in anguish,
perhaps it is because
I believe that what is occurring
should not be.


I am holding a belief about reality
which says my experience
is supposed to be different than it is.


What if I was able to accept that
whatever is occurring
in each moment,
is Grace’s gift
to me, to us, and to all?


Clearly, to deny this gift
is living a delusion
which can launch me
into deep confusion, frustration, immobilization,
and sheer, self-created misery.


Until I can love everything
anyone says and does,
I will not be peaceful and free!


This is way easier said, than done,
but I am committed to learning
and living this.




Enneagram Program
Nine Unlearning Paths
to Presence

November 2—4
St. Louis, MO
Learn More
Would you like to receive an original, inspiring insight in your email each day? For over eight years we have been writing and posting these insights on Facebook, and now you can receive the same insight directly in your email. This is a free service.

To sign up click this link. You may unsubscribe at any point. www.unlearninginsights.com