Unlearning Insights

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Here are the most current Unlearning Insights:

November 16

The source

of most of our problems
is that we don’t realize
that we don’t belong to us.


Life comes through us
and as us,
but never from us.

November 15

Where is Your Focus?

In a non-dual world,
the focus is not on transactions
as much as transformation.


Our transactional focus
makes us feel responsible
for fixing and improving everything,
and anxiously anticipating the future.


A transformational focus
let’s us yield to the Life-force
that runs through all creation.


the way forward
is through dwelling in Presence.


November 14

Pushing Your Hold Button

Next time you have
a contentious moment
with someone,
see how quickly
you can push your own egoic hold button,
and genuinely work
to listen to their perspective,
and even see why
it is so important to them.


Let your heart
look for and feel theirs.


The quicker you let go
of the need to be right,
the quicker an expansive space of Grace
appears and encircles you both.


Really, the whole moment shifts
from disconnection to Presence.


They may even return the favor
and listen to you,
but that won’t matter to you anymore.

November 13

Hands Off

There is a space
I am exploring,
or actually
not exploring…

I think of it as
active non-interference.

It feels fresh,
alive and precious,
and vital…
radiantly innocent,
and delightfully inexplicable.

November 12

Endless Running

I’m finally realizing that
until I am willing
to identify and go into
my deepest fears,
I am running from reality.


I think I am out of breath.


Time. To. Be. Still.

November 11


If two caterpillars
were wholehearted friends at the soul level,
would they recognize and love each other
when they became butterflies?


Methinks yes.

November 10

Everything is a Door

No matter how hard and heavy it feels
there is a way through.


If it feels too dark,
then into that is the way.


If it feels too scary,
then into that is the way.


If it feels too humiliating,
then into that is the way.


All I need to do
is be willing to see
what happens to me                                          
when I accept what is presented
and step into it, wholeheartedly.


All I have to lose
is my current misconception
I have of myself.

November 9

One Song

Ever notice how certain tones
resonate in your body and heart?


When the note is played or sung,
with effortless purity
the vibrations strike a chord within
and you feel like in that moment
you merge with the music.


It’s like the harmonics in us
happen automatically.
It is nothing you manufacture.


I love that the boundless Universe
is ultimately one Being
resonating Herself
through and as all forms
in one infinite glorious Symphony.

November 8

Drawn by the Mystery of the Unknown

my mind convinces me that
I know what I am doing.


More often these days,
and what I’m really excited about exploring,
is the hidden possibilities and potential
in that I don’t know
what I am not doing.

November 7

Showing Up

When you show up
grounded in Grace,
you let go of the need
to control the outcome
of any conversation.


When you show up
with the intention
to dance to Divine music,
you respond to whatever melody arises.


When you show up
with no need to know ahead of time
what you will say,
you are guided when to speak
and when to remain silent.


When you show up
with full trust
that all in the dialogue 
are part of Soul’s choreography,
you witness and feel
Grace in action.


Let’s all show up.

November 6


It is through learning
to observe your own
motivations, actions and results,
as a prairie dog might observe you
from a hill top,
that a space for wisdom
is birthed.


The prairie dog doesn’t judge you.
She just notices
and takes action,
or turns her head
to the next event
when she has seen enough.

November 5


I was invited
to find the stillness
that precedes
trying to be still.


I also found
the peace
that precedes
trying to be peaceful.

November 4

Melting the Imposter

When you don’t realize
the personality patterns of your life
are as impersonal as software,
you think you are the personality
and tend to feel discouraged and ashamed.
It can feel like an endless struggle
to free yourself.


When do you notice
the personality patterns of your life
as impersonal programs
running in your mind,
you have the choice
to not yield to these limiting fixations.


By letting the light of awareness
shine on these soulless habits,
your mind gradually releases
its identification grip
on this imposter self.


The play-actor self
starts to soften and dissolve
as it yields to a feeling of
authentic, guided, sweet Presence.


November 3

Avoiding Authenticity?

I used to think
if I was truly authentic
all hell would break loose,
because no one would like me.


My experience is that
all hell breaks loose
through an unconscious,
cyclical, fear-driven, lack of authenticity.

Today I have no more interest
in play-acting.
I’m watching
all Heaven break open
as I am present
to each moment’s glory
from an authentic heart.

November 2

You Are Not a Victim

No one or no thing
can cause you
to be humiliated.


All they or it can do
is invite you to
focus your attention
on something.


If you accept,
you can choose
humiliation or humility.


If you don’t believe this
then you have created the conditions
to feel like a victim.

Your emotions
and your response to them
belong to you.

November 1

Do You Worry?

Most of us do.
Our worry about anything
like people, animals, or the earth
is not a helpful contribution.


If you want to worry,
worry about yourself.


Try consciously worrying hard
about yourself for say, fifteen minutes.
Really agonize and stew.
See how you feel at the end of time.


Worry is misplaced trust
in a dualistic universe.


Go bigger
to one integrated, all-inclusive Creation,
and you may start
to default to peace.

October 31

Working with Disparate Parts of Consciousness

What I am finding helpful
is recognizing
that every part of consciousness
wants the best for me.


The issue is that they each
misbelieve that I am incomplete.
This causes them to be driven
by a fear of scarcity
and to look outside of me for the fix.
Fear is a constriction away from wholeness.


Instead of denying or fighting these parts,
as I have been conditioned to do,
I am learning to welcome them on the team
by feeling into what they are saying.
I listen to them to understand their perspective.
They often have something to teach me.


They are simply misinformed, valuable teammates.


As I dialogue with them,
it relaxes them,
often reducing the intensity of their demands.
Gradually, I show them
that there are ways to get what they desire
without fear.
This gives them a taste
of my innate, authentic completeness.


While this is a work in progress,
as we all start to row in the same direction,
a wonderful sense of unity within
is beginning to emerge.

October 30

Future Heaven

There is another part of consciousness
that fights against what is.
It believes there is always something
not quite good enough in the present moment,
so it anxiously focuses on an ideal future heaven.
It willfully tries to make each situation
into what it wants,
or at least wishes it was different.


This activity means
there is no appreciation of a hard moment ,
there is no time for rest
except when exhausted,
and no time for play,
unless it is productive
and moving it closer to its goals.


It got rewarded for this behavior,
just like the last part that repressed anger,
by family, friends, sports teams, school,
camp, boy scouts, work, religion, etc.
It figured this is how you get ahead in life:
you make it happen
by repressing or denying
that which does not fit with your vision or will.


Through a consistent yoga practice
over the last nine months,
I have gotten to know this part in each class,
by being reminded to breath in and out
throughout the entire class,
noticing how it wishes a challenging asana was over,
and how rest is honored as a rejuvenating function.


Like the last two insights,
I’m so grateful to be seeing this
and am confident this too
is just the tip of the iceberg.
Stay tuned.


October 29

Thou Shalt Not be Angry. Ever.

There is another part in consciousness
that does not know
what to do when it feels upset.
It feels like there might be a wild animal in there.
How would it know?
If this part does not keep it caged
it could do some serious damage.


Somewhere along the line it learned
that anger is never to be expressed.
And, this behavior got rewarded by
family, friends, sports teams, school,
camp, boy scouts, work, religion, etc.


It figured what you were supposed to do
is numb yourself as quickly as possible
through mental, emotional,
physical, or spiritual means.
I accessed this part
and used all these modalities quite proficiently.


So, repression of any negative feelings
has become the modus operandi.


Finally I’m just beginning
to peek and even feel inside,
to see who and what in there
has been ignored all these decades.
And, at what cost!?!


Like yesterday’s insight,
I’m so grateful to be seeing this
and am confident this too
is just the tip of the iceberg.
Stay tuned.

October 28

An Endless Echo of Anxiousness

Do you have a part in consciousness
that believes this,
as I do?


When I receive love,
I revel in it
and want to think I could rest and relax,
but since love has been so short-lived,
I don’t ever relax,
because I fear it will be withdrawn.


So, I am ever trying to adjust myself
to please the other person
so that they will have no reason
not to love me.


This means the other person
is in relationship with this contorted me,
not the authentic me.


This relentless part
is looking endlessly outside of me
for this missing piece,
and is sad and exhausted.


In isolating this specific part,
I can find traces of him driving me
all that way back to middle school.
It is clearly acting out the matrix:
an impersonal program
running in my conditioned mind.


I am so grateful to find this,
and am confident this is just
the tip of the iceberg.
Stay tuned.

October 27

Have you noticed?

Have you noticed
a part of consciousness
that you have so identified with
that you call it “I”?


It may only represent
a specific part of your experience,
but when you think you are that part
there is a tendency to forget
that there is more to you.


This can create huge dysfunctions
when you hear your confused mind
say things like:
“I never should have done that.”
“How could I be so selfish?”
“There I go again, always ______.”
(e.g. inserting myself, or
feeling sorry for myself, or
worrying about finances, or
messing up, or
procrastinating, etc.)


There is so much more to you
than one aspect of your experience.
Try observing that part
and using language that acknowledges this.


“I am noticing that
part of my mind thinks it never should have done that.”
“I am noticing that
part of my mind wonders how it could be so selfish.”
“I am noticing that
part of my mind thinks it is always:
inserting itself, or
feeling sorry for itself, or
worrying about finances, or
messing up, or
procrastinating, etc.”


Can you feel the shift occurring
as you adopt the role of observer?

October 26

What it Takes

When you are devoted
to progressing
in that which is most important to you,
whatever brought you
to this stage in life,
cannot take you
to the next one.


If you don’t go
beyond the known,
you will simply
creating an egoic rut
of indolence
which dulls your gifts
and procrastinates your life.

October 25

The Price of Admission

when my yearning heart
gets really still,
Grace reaches in
and reminds me
that within
our consciousness
there are infinite doors
to inestimable capacities
our wildest imagination.


The price of admission
is simple

Applying the Enneagram
November 16–17
Grafton, Illinois
Learn More
Would you like to receive an original, inspiring insight in your email each day? For over nine years we have been writing and posting these insights on Facebook and Instagram, and you can receive the same insight directly in your email. This is a free service.

To sign up click this link. You may unsubscribe at any point.